


Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

by knitekat



Category: Primeval
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, Post-Apocalypse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:03:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knitekat/pseuds/knitekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan, Cutter and Hart survive the end of their world and end up in the Devonian. What will they do now the world - and people - they knew are dead? </p><p>Thanks go to Fififolle for the beta. </p><p>For my Art prompt <a href="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/fredbassett/11883678/52309/52309_original.jpg">here</a> by Fredbassett.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fredbassett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/gifts).



Ryan woke with a start, his heart racing as the nightmare... no, if only that was all it had been. He rubbed his face and scowled at the stubble, rough on his cheeks, before standing and making his way to the small lake they'd discovered. He paused and glanced back at his charges, nodding when he met Stephen's understanding gaze and the man patted the pistol. Stephen would keep them safe while he dealt with his memories. 

He moved carefully yet quickly over the ground, a misstep would be far too costly in this era – the Devonian he thought Nick had called it, but what did that mean to a soldier? All he knew was he was in an age without medical supplies, and any injury, no matter how minor, could be a death sentence and... 

No, he didn't crave that release. 

Once, maybe, and maybe later, but for now he had a mission to complete. James... oh God, James would expect it of him. 

He wiped his hand across his face once more as he fought his emotions down, but the nightmare and Stephen’s understanding look had brought them all back. 

He'd always remember the day his world had ended far too easily, every moment etched in his mind. How he'd woken that morning and kissed James awake, how they'd made love before the call had come in of an anomaly. Rushing to the site and the horror that had been unleashed. So many people dying and then... he closed his eyes as he remembered finding James. Holding his lover as he breathed his last and wanting only to join him. Of locking James in a room, safe from anything hungry, and setting out to take as many of them with him as he could. 

Only that had never happened for he'd run into survivors before he could make his last stand. He couldn't just abandon his duty and leave them to their fate, James wouldn't have approved. Ryan shook his head, attempting to scatter those memories, he had a job to do and he'd do it, until his last breath. 

He spun around and only Stephen's quick reflexes kept his fist from connecting with Stephen's face. “Fuck!” He took a deep breath before repeating, “Fuck!”

“Sorry.” Stephen took a step back and raised his hands and peered at Ryan closely. “I would ask how you're doing but the answer is bloody obvious.” 

Ryan sucked in a deep breath before attempting a smile. “I'm fine.”

Stephen shook his head. “No, you're not.” He handed Ryan a reel of wire with a bent nail on the end. “We'll catch breakfast while we talk.”

Ryan scowled at him before following Stephen to the water's edge, keeping a careful eye open for any predators. He couldn't just refuse to fish, they needed the food, but that didn't mean he had to talk. 

Stephen shot him a look before casting his line into the water and waited for Ryan to do likewise. “James wouldn't want you hurting like this.” When Ryan almost laughed, and shot his companion a look, Stephen shrugged, “I didn't have to like him...” He wiggled his line before continuing, “I've seen the look on your face before, Ryan, staring back at me out of the mirror when I thought I'd lost Nick through my own stupidity.”

“The cage room,” Ryan said and although it wasn't really a question, Stephen nodded. 

“Yeah.” Stephen rubbed the deep scars on his left arm. 

“But you got a second chance with Nick,” Ryan murmured as he stared out over the water sparkling in the sunlight. “James is dead, he died in my arms and there wasn't a bloody thing I could do about it.” He turned his attention back to Stephen. “I don't get a second chance.”

Stephen nodded and stared out across the water as Ryan had. He seemed to be wrestling with some dilemma before meeting Ryan's eyes. “You need to talk to Nick.”

***

With two fish apiece, Ryan trailed Stephen back to their camp and wondered what he'd meant by needing to talk to Nick. What could the professor have to say that would change the past?

Nick rose when he saw them, the smile on his face fading when he noticed the grim expressions on their faces. “Stephen?”

“It's time, Nick.” Stephen took the gutted fish from Ryan and moved towards the fire pit to cook. 

“Ah.” Nick nodded and the look he turned on Ryan was full of compassion. “Ryan...” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Look, I know you think you've lost James.” 

Ryan glared at him. “He's dead, Cutter, so I hope you aren't going to tell me some shit about him living on in my memories.” 

Nick shook his head. “No... well, yes, but that's not what I mean. Er...” 

Stephen groaned from the fire pit. “Nick, come and watch the fish. Make sure they don't burn.” _I'm sure you can manage that_ was implied but left unspoken. He waited for Nick to take over before joining Ryan. “I should really remember how crap Nick is at personal stuff. Not that I'm much better...”

“No, you're not,” Ryan growled out and even though he was hungry he was tempted to leave. Not for long, James would have hated him failing in his duty, but... he could watch over them from a distance. 

“Look, Ryan,” Stephen started. “Before I found Nick in the bunker.. he talked to Helen.” 

“That bloody bitch.” 

“Yeah, but she said something interesting, Ryan.” 

Stephen paused and looked at Ryan expectantly, as if he should bloody care what she had to say. He didn't give a damn about Helen's honeyed words, not considering what they'd cost him. 

“Look, I know you probably don't think you want to hear this...” Stephen said, obviously willing to attempt a different approach. “But it is important.”

“Fine,” Ryan growled out. “What did the fucking bitch say?”

“She implied the world had changed. You remember when Helen outed our affair? And Nick asked where Claudia was, that something had changed time?”

“Yes.” Ryan was really hoping there was a point to this conversation. 

“In the bunker, Helen implied she'd been responsible for that change. That she was going to experiment and cause more changes.”

Ryan frowned at them. “I don't see what...” His voice trailed off and he looked between his two travelling companions. “You think we could change time? We could save James?”

“And everyone else.” Nick met Ryan's eyes. “If we find the right anomaly.” 

Stephen chipped in. “And it is better than just wandering around aimlessly.”

Ryan chewed his lips as he thought over their proposal; he doubted it would be as simple as they appeared to be implying and he had no wish to think of the consequences of messing with time. But the alternative... Could he live with knowing he might have saved James if he'd only taken the chance? “Do you think we can?”

Nick nodded. “It's got to be worth a go, Ryan. Hasn't it?” 

“Yes,” Ryan said. “You can explain it over breakfast.”


End file.
